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Re: crazy people in your life
 
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Published: 12 y
 
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Re: crazy people in your life


Absolutely. I believe we have to love and accept ourselves. Only then can we be free of the corroding judgement of others.

In answer to your question regarding the second biggest stress - well that would be ourselves :-)


Exactly. I'm delighted you hit the nail on the head. And it ties together: our own perspective determines how frightening or frustrating everything else is.

Much of our fearfulness with the world comes from a personal sense of lack of worth. Deep down we don't believe we're valuable and so we expect other people and the world at large to be unkind to us. We scrabble for praise so we can feel better. We hide or turn a blind eye to our faults because they are so condemning.

Do whatever you need to to figure out that you are valuable. Start from there.

I don't believe in Jesus, but I love a lot of his ideas. One that helps a lot of people is that "Jesus loves you". Regardless of who you are and what you've done. With this he instills a sense of worth, and from that springs joy and even kindness. (Mean people basically don't love themselves and take that out on other people.) My lifelong search for meaning has taken me through a lot of deep searching and contemplation. Took me about three dozen years to figure it out and the answer is simple, if subtle. Any creature with awareness is inherently valuable. That is, the ultimate and absolute purpose is to promote the well-being of all sentience. Being sentient is your inherent and undeniable quality that makes you valuable. You need nothing else. You don't have to be a good driver. You don't have to make a lot of money. You don't have to even be nice to other people. You are valuable simply because you can feel and experience reality. (Now, of course you want to be nice to other people, because that's the purpose. But failing at it doesn't mean you lose value, it just means you're making a mistake.)

If you think a person has to be doing good things to be valuable, you may need to learn more about forgiveness, and about loving sinners. You will be trapped in a "works-based" value system where your value is always in question depending on your performance. And, ironically, being worried about one's worth more often results in bad behavior than feeling valuable.
 

 
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