I have done loads of mistakes in my mothering job; but I have managed one thing and that is to tell them I love them; and they know it. (I check in once in a while)
Time to give yourself some credit, for even waking up (like I did) and changing direction. Your daughter will shine, I am sure; with a dedicated mother like you.
My eldest one has changed so much since iodine, you wouldnt believe it. The teachers have commented several times, so have people close to us, but not his doctor as he never seen him after.
"she has benign rolandic spikes, suggestive of benign rolandic seizures...she has lots of growing pains..and she gets fevers quite often."
The epileptic spikes and growing pains; could be magnesium deficiency. (beware that spikes may also be a vaccine reaction) The magnesium oil can be rubbed at the affected area. There is a call for boron too!!.
My youngest had severe feverile seizures when little, I soo wish I knew what I know today! (-he has grown out of it.)
"Also, my daughter's father and i have not been together since she can remember and i wonder if that affects her enuf to have those kind of symptoms"
-As long as you have a good life NOW, that is what counts. When I left my kids father they had a positive curve upwards, almost as they sighed in relief. They where more affected of a bad relationship than I realized at the time.
"being that i have tried to feed them well for yrs, u would think they loved good food..but my 6 yr old has been picky for the last two yrs and my 3 yr old is catching on to that so he is copying the behavior."
When I work with children cases I start with the small steps, and the Iodine protocol. To this day there is not one of them that didnt have a good result; from enuresis, frequent urination, alopecia, adhd, pains, psoriasis ++
I gave them all; iodine, selenium, boron, magnesium, vit B and C. + asked the family to use real salt deliberately in their food. (I prefer Himalaya salt) Only coconut oil and butter in cooking, no msg or artificial sweeteners. No fluoride toothpaste of course.
A quick fix for your daughters growing pains; the homeopathic remedy calcium phos. Used it many times, it works fast but not for more than a few days if the cause is a deficiency.
I have several homeopathics suggestions for you daughter too, but that would be to much right now.