I like the pondering part. It is always amazing that all the sudden you start realizing these things. The healing is slow and you don't realize that you are making small improvements and then for some reason several things come together and you realize you made another step forward.
It also shows that you can not give up and think the flushes are not working. Though we know besides flushes we have to improve our lifestyle.
You are getting close to catching up to my 50 flushes :)
For new people don't think this will happen to everyone, it all depends what your problems are. My 50 flushes sound like a lot but it is not that bad, I started in Feb'03 and I had a lot of problems.