I am so glad you felt encouraged by our exchange. I did too in that it brought me another wave of motivation to keep reaching out to God. I hope that the members of this forum will indulge us in just one more tangent into god and healing. This is a bit off topic and we should probably move to another forum to talk further. Maybe we can switch to the Christianity (enlightened) forum or just pm.
I have so been just where you are with God. I am sure so many of us can relate. We get sold on this idea that God is sorta like Santa Claus, and he so is not that. We want the rule to be that if we are good people then we will get good in our lives and that doesn't always work out either.
I was a member of a UU church. Loved it. I got a masters degree in spirituality-literally. I studied world religions and meditation among other things. But after 15 years of trying everything from tai chi to Mai tai's, what Carl Jung said became true, we must make peace with the religion of our childhoods. It took a long time to let go of being angry at God.
Just ask yourself, what if its not his fault. What if...
I know what you think next, but he is all powerful, so how can it not be his fault. In short, because he gave us freewill. He set life and death before us and gave us guidelines to help us choose between them. But we consistently choose death. We choose death by our thoughts. When we choose to think life is hopeless we choose death. When we believe we are no good we choose death. What you say and think is powerful. We are made in the image of God, he spoke the world into being through his word. Just so our thoughts and words are creative. When we fail to take dominion over evil we choose death. We h
If your thoughts are creating what comes to you, what would you be creating.
Its hard to make peace with the things that happened to us as kids. As kids we don't have control over the place we live. Unfortunately we live out the consequences of our parents thoughts, and we learn our parents way of thinking. This is the part there is no getting around. God doesn't deny flawed people children, and he doesn't make them straighten up. It was not his will that it was a hurtful place for you. He felt your pain right long with you and hoped so much that everyone would turn away from death, but he wants so much for us to have choice that he doesn't take control of people. I am sure you have very legitimate reasons for being angry.
Listen, there is nothing I can say in a short sound bite that is going to take all that hurt away. And truthfully, I can't say that I don't still want a better world. Its just that now I understand that the blame lies with our choices. Each day we get to start over and make new choices and new choices equal new habits. I have spoken in generalities here and boiled things down. All things are complex and there is always more to the story.
As far as what did I do to get well, I can't claim to be well. I can say I can stop symptoms from happening, and that nothing bothers me as much as it used to. I can say I am a lot happier and that I am a work in progress. My health is improving and I do expect healing to be complete.
The body and mind reflect one another. So we must work on them in tandem. There is no such thing as a peaceful mind and a sick body. Always the mind and body are in sync in someway.
The feedback loop, I mentioned was my way of saying something other than our thoughts. The testing you had done, was a feedback loop. Acupuncturists use looking at our tongues and eyes to see imbalances. Enlightened drs read blood and urine tests. I think we are in danger when we do not have some kind of feedback loop. Our minds are not our friends and they can be really smart but really stupid all at the same time. They are not to be trusted too much with something as important as our health.
Here's to kindred spirits on the path to wholeness.