When I read this yesterday, I felt overwhelmed. I'm not particularly intuitive, but frequently I am able to pick up suggestions from a poster's own words that help me know what direction they'd like to head in. Then I can offer what I might know or believe about that direction.
I have no idea what you should do, or even what you're telling yourself you'd like to do. The chaotic feelings you say you have definitely came across, and I wasn't able to find a thread to follow.
My best advice is to set everything aside for a day, a week, whatever it takes. Start breathing again. Eat on schedule, and feel nourished from what you eat. Do some walking, and let your mind wander. Or meditate if you can. If you dream, pay attention to the images. Find out their meaning. In fact, ask for guidance before you go to sleep, and promise that you will pay attention. (I think maybe you haven't been.) Sit down with a pad of paper and write whatever comes into your mind. Don't edit. Somehow slow down enough to connect with what your body is trying to tell you, and you will have your starting point.