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Re: Soulful, I'm not angry, nor do I want revenge
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Published: 11 years ago
This is a reply to # 1,854,246

Re: Soulful, I'm not angry, nor do I want revenge

It's wonderful to read that you're moving forward - severing ties and relationships with people who mean to do us harm is often a very difficult thing to accomplish, especially if those people are "family" members.  GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!  And, the further we go without contact, the better our lives become - we are not suffocated by the drama that the NPD/sociopath generates, nor are we constantly dodging the deliberate damage that they inflict.

When I respond about anger and the desire for revenge, I try to do so by using my personal experiences on my healing path to refer to.  Should people who have been harmed by a malignant narcissist feel angry?  Heck, YES, they should!  They are "allowed" to feel righteous indignation that they were targeted, used, abused, and discarded at the whim of a predator.  Feeling that anger and rage is normal and part of the healing process.  When the anger and rage becomes a driving force of our daily lives is when it's gone beyond what's "normal," and developed into an unhealthy obsession - I say this from my personal experiences in learning to manage the rage and anger that I had towards the ex-abuser.  After the anger and rage have run their course, the healing begins in earnest, and the former victim can live an incredibly satisfying life by always remembering the lessons that they learned from being harmed by the predator.

Should people who have been harmed by a malignant narcissist feel the desire for revenge?  They're allowed to - the desire to exact retribution against someone who will likely never be held accountable for what they've done is also a normal feeling.  It's when that desire for revenge becomes an ever-present companion that makes what's "normal" become something extremely dangerous and self-destructive.  Acting upon that normal desire makes the victims of the NPD/sociopath look like raving lunatics - remember that the predator has carefully laid out their system of support by dividing and conquering family members and friends of the source target!  So, any reaction appears to be that of an unstable individual rather than someone who has been deliberately targeted and damaged.  Eventually, when the rage and anger have diminished, the desire for revenge does so, as well, and is replaced with the understanding that these people will get what's coming to them in one way, or another.  We may not be there to witness their karma, but they will be accountable at some point, and that knowledge will have to be good enough for us.

May your healing path be smooth and peaceful!  BRIGHTEST BLESSINGS TO YOU!!!!


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