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Re: "Here I am"...but now you're not :( ??? Re: "wish you were here", Uny--Hip fracture....n/m
 
chirontherainbowbridge Views: 1,593
Published: 13 y
 
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Re: "Here I am"...but now you're not :( ??? Re: "wish you were here", Uny--Hip fracture....n/m


Hi Uny--

I don't know when he will be back home. I feel quite disoriented, and have a hard time to relax, unless I am at the hospital--which of course is not relaxation,but vigilance.

It is hospital and rehab...and and and. It's a lot like a prison experience, and last night was the worst, with two men, he and his 'roommate' reduced to tears from the way they were being treated. Now, finally, we are connecting with a patient relations person, and then a social worker.


This epic started on Monday night. It's now Monday again, and this is the first I've seen a message from you. I'm not meaning to sound accusatory. I'm still in shock, and just very depleted. As it happens, what you've now given me is way too much information for me right now. Maybe I'll have time later today to read it. One thing I've discovered that happens lately is, if there is a nurse who is what I find to be lacking in the genuine qualities of a nurse, as the one last night and the night before, it is so upsetting that I cannot make sense out of written words--I mean, I can't actually figure out something like a phone card, or a long post, or a sign with instructions.

I deleted my posts after you did not respond (either)to a PM. I honestly felt I'd hung my life out there for many others to see, and then become kind of 'invisible' suddenly, or so it seemed; and not understanding that, felt I had to pull it all back in.

My last post said I couldn't understand the lack of reply from you, and I realize by then I was being wimpery. So I just removed them. Not angry, hurt, and in that weird hospital zone. Please know, although it must have sounded initially like I was asking you to figure the whole thing out for me, AND hold my hand too, I recognized quite soon that there isn't much "Natural Healing" can do while the hospital has him in their grip.

That is, at least until he gets out of the strange prison of the hard narcotics. I can't battle blood thinners with green leafy veg. etc.. :-) (wan smile) I'm doing the best I can with maintaining perspective, staying calm, juice and fruit and so on. And trying not to leap into future speculation. Just one moment at a time.

What might be simple for others is not, for him, and quite frankly, I worried that he might not survive the whole thing--partly because of the shock, partly because of the whole way it happened, partly because the nervous system has been very traumatized, and then the prognosis is overwhelming.

This was not elective surgery, but negligence.


It has been, and continues to be a bit of a nightmare for us. We did not want to get into a negative mind state over the "how" of it while he was facing this surgery, and just waiting on no food and no water for a slot in the OR. There was no "suggestion" on the part of anyone there, nothing to 'agree' to. (This is exactly why I never want to go to a hospital--it's like a terrible joke--you go in for a pulled muscle and come out with your life altered entirely. The doctor informed me/us at one and the same moment that he had fallen (!!!in their care!!!) and that he HAD to have the hip replacement. The ball had broken. That he'd be 'up the next day'...but that's in the best case scenario. It is a complicated thing...He should never have been left without his walking staff, and they knew that--and the hospital is actually in serious error there.


That's all for now.

Thank you for replying. Later, when I'm back home tonight, I'll read what you wrote. Meanwhile, I'll just hang onto
love. That's really "all you need"

C

 

 
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