I bet the doctor I saw last week $50 that my stool samples would come back positive. (This after he dismissed the honking huge parasite -- with a *face* -- that I brought him in a glass jar as "a piece of zucchini." Zucchini. Right. A) I don't eat zucchini, and B) zucchini doesn't have a tripartite mouth, a flagellum, and hooks on the underside. m*o*o*n.)
He said he wasn't a betting man.
I told him I'd give him the $50 if I was wrong anyway. And that if you hear hoofbeats and look out the window and see a black-and-white-striped, hooved ruminant, that's a zebra, not a horse.
I have my follow-up apppointment day after tomorrow after droppping off samples that were more fluke than stool at the lab Mon. I am curious to see if he will have any grace in his retraction. I seriously doubt it. I just want a scrip for drugs from him, and for him to change my diagnosis from constipation to fluke infestation.
Since I presented with the key symptom: flukes falling out of my @ss.