Wow no more alcohol for me

I told my family I wanted to committ suicide and some other very personal stuff I never wanted anybody to noe and now it's all in the open very weird now. I told my dad i can get a gun and shoot my brains out everybody were just laughing at the time because I was making a fool out of myself and thought i was joking but they realized it was realll and told me sucide is for cowards blah blah blah blah blah. The worse part is I had family memembers there at the time. The word is going to spread forsure. Now I feel even more depressed becasue everybody nows how I feel which is really embarassing
I feel like just killing myself now forsure like no doubts about it. How many of you contemplate suicide cuz of your tmau ( Body Odor ) Tweet