Re: Agape Love is ONLY between God and the individual, it is not between you and other people.
My love for my mother was between myself and her. It was not dependent on other people's actions or inactions. It involved no one else but myself and her (and NO ONE could ever share in or hope to have that magnitude of love relationship).
When my mother remarried, she wanted me to call my stepfather "Dad" and "Father". I flat out refused without apology. EVERYONE (EVERYONE) that I knew felt that I was wrong, but they soon learned how deadly serious I am about my love. My father earned the title and my heart, no one could ever hope to reach such a height.
People don't THINK! I was so mad that my mother would make that request that, at first, I wouldn't even give her an explanation of WHY, but after a couple of weeks of her being disappointed, I explained that I'll do the same for her when she dies (and then she shut up).
Agape love is only between you and God, DO NOT let it involve anyone else....because then it is no longer "agape" (God will say "I never knew you").
There are two parts to complete salvation (this is not taught in the common traditional teachings, never has been). Hebrews chapter 9 explains that Jesus purified the FLESH, but could not purify the conscience by what He did on the cross.
When Jesus came to earth, He did not come alone, He brought the Holy Spirit. BUT, the holy spirit was not given to us until Jesus was glorified (I'm not quoting verses now). Salvation and the SPIRIT were made AVAILABLE to us at the same time (Jesus cleanses the FLESH, and His SPIRIT will teach us (if we choose to learn) how to do things right (peaceful and just) so that our conscience will be clear everyday (READ Hebrews 9).
Do not RATIONALIZE things!