some times i dream and some times i dont. but i never wake up feeling like i had restful sleep. i often wake up during the night. i wake up feeling awful and tired. but usually the dreams i have either make no sense, i cant remember them, or about some kind of fear. but that dream i had after i took that Iodine was way more dark and intense.
i can remember alot from my childhood. i got mentally abused and talked down to alot. since i was a teenager ive had headaches, feeling tired, depression, apathy, and been withdrawn.
i do have alot of emotional issues. i get angry at people, not for no reason, but ive reached a level of frustration with them. it has to do with being treated unfairly and feeling rejected. im a very shy quiet person, and i believe i have social anxiety. talking to people, especially women, is like eating glass to me. i feel like people just all hate me.
i dont know if the way i feel now is caused by my emotions or if these feelings are being fueled by whatever is making me sick. i feel like there has to be something wrong with me somewhere.
i have my good days and bad days. i have suicidal thoughts everyday, feelings of utter hopelessness, feeling worthless, etc.