Re: Killing Me Softly....
Unfortunately, I am beginning to imagine being in a worse state. My eyes are bad and pouring out white gray matter.
My tummy hurts half the time whether I eat or not.
My skin is beginning to itch again and I have no energy or will to do things the way I usually do. It is harder to research since my eyes hurt and are blurry.
Two weeks ago I thought I was getting better. The definition of insanity, some say, is doing the same things over and over again and expecting better results. If this is true, taking more of the same meds seems insane. On the other hand, not taking anything is quickly leading to more symptoms. My husband is not so bad, but not getting any better either.
I want to check in a hosptial and stay there till they fix me. But I have to get one of the doctors to decide that whatever I have is dangerous enough to do this. My nuerologist sees a crescent line in my brain scan that he doesn't know what it could be....if I tell him he will dismiss me as delusional or worse, I am afraid. If my next scan shows movement, I will be emboldened to mention this article about worms I saw....>__<
Thank god I live in Canada now versus the US where, even with insurance, we would be in the poorhouse. The dirty secret about the debt problem for individuals in the US is that over a third of it is medically related. And then when people lose their jobs they lose their insurance and get even more crazily in debt as they get sick. Talk about insanity.
But, it make a select few, including the "elected representatives" very rich. And it helps makes most American workers very docile and hardworking.
So it won't change. Too bad the brainwashing and censorship has been so effective there. If you are poor it is your own fault and if others are rich it is because they have done something better than you. (Like be born into the right situation, maybe? Play football like a gladiator? Take huge bailouts from taxpayers? Run a health insurance company that doesn't allow treatment? Wreck the environment for profit, have others clean it up?....)
And despite all the injustice--which many can see--they are just sure that they have it better than the rest of the world. They live in America after all, land of the free. (Free to die sick, homeless, or hungry in the streets and have corporations rule every aspect of most lives without regulation or taxes.)
And I love the dream that was my birth country. "For the people, by the people..." The love punctuates and choreographs my sadness.