I'm a Filipina with TMAU
Hi, I'm from the Philippines and i just want to share some experiences and what happened to me because of BO.
I started to notice and be conscious about BO when i was 17, I'm 24 now btw, I took the bus back and forth to school everyday when i started college, there were many times when i noticed people covering their noses and coughing and even spitting when I'm around and I hear people complain about something smelling bad. First I thought it was just because I got sweaty and don't use deodorant before and sometimes I don't wash my hair when I go to school. So I made sure I smell cleaner when I go out like wash my hair, used deodorant, and brush more. But it didn't seem to fix the problem,I heard and saw more that seems to tell me that something's wrong with me.
The smell i heard was from garbage, foot odor, bad breath (like someone spit on me or I drooled and it dried on my clothes), to fecal, dirty body, and rotten. Of course I was denying to myself that I actually smelled like those, but then it became a fact for me. Until I stopped going to school for 2 years, I didn't get out of the house that long also but there were occasions when my parents "pull" me out of the house and I went to malls, beach and places with them but I stayed away from people if possible. Then my mom got fed up with me and she enrolled me to this cheaper college just to get me going out again. I was so angry when she told I have to go to school, I cried and went on a rampage and destroyed furniture and i held a knife and threatened to kill my parents if they make me go to school, of course I have no intention of doing it but I thought I may wound them still, but my dad got hold of the knife and I just sobbed and they told me I'm going crazy that I don't smell, until now my mom still insist I don't.
I use to be confident and get along with anyone easily, but now some people think I'm a snob and just maladjusted. I became very insecure because of this, Everyday like every second I think of this when I'm not at home, people have no idea what's going on with my mind while I'm smiling, laughing, drinking, and talking to them, That I keep asking myself "Do I smell?" They think I'm alright and perhaps "I don't know" but it torments me, it stresses me, and almost killed me.
I shifted courses 4x because I wanted a class where people are more tolerant and kind to me. I graduated college last April 2010, I'm an English teacher now and passed the board but never applied because I'm preparing myself for life out there. I can't get started with the low choline diet because my mom just won't let me.
I have a boyfriend and we've been together for 4 years now, but my mom hates him because he has no ambition, she wants me to go abroad after my teaching experience here, but I keep asking myself will I be alright out there? Can I live outside my comfort zone? I feel this condition ruined my life, I wouldn't be a teacher now if I don't have it (I never thought I'll be a teacher), Though my boyfriend is sweet and very kind to me I thought I would have never even took notice of him if I didn't have this, that I would have ended up with a better man (but now of course I really love him and appreciate him for everything), and I thought I would have been a very different person now, I may have been successful, and more beautiful (I really felt it also made me ugly for all the stress everyday)and I would have not given up my virginity to a worthless guy (not my boyfriend now, some other guy) because I was so flattered that a guy approached me and wanted to get to know me better despite my condition. But in spite of all of this, TMAU made me a nicer and more understanding and considerate person.
Like all of you, I have more stories to tell about my life with TMAU, But I'm too sleepy now.