"Were you OCD before you lost your baby? I've never had a child of my own, but I've watched friends turn OCD for a little while after they had their babies
I've had OCD as far back as I can remember. When I was little my mother said I was very weird about my clothes. They had to be just so etc.... I always had to count my entire life and always thought it was normal. I always knew how many electric poles were between point A and B, how many floors on a building and the exact amount of windows, ceiling tiles, floor tiles. I was always just counting. I had "magical thinking" that goes along with OCD, if I do this or that then I could prevent someone from dying etc.... Amongst other small things but my parents never noticed anything weird. As a teenager i suffered Anorexia and Bulimia and believe this is part of the OCD spectrum.
When I was a teenager I became terrified of germs from watching Talk Shows that spoke of the dangers of cross contamination. I, to this day, frequently worry when i eat food if it is going to be contaminated. I've always had intrusive thoughts. Any bad word I didn't want to think, well that is what popped in my head.
It wasn't until I became a young adult and something traumatic happened and I had my first break down. I was terrified of contamination, I would shower for hours because in my mind I was constantly not showering right and contaminating myself, I hated washing dishes because I would be there for hours rewashing, I excessively washed my hands. At one point some how in my mind there was only one place in my bedroom that was uncontaminated and I became a prisoner there. My life was a lot like what happened to Howard Hughes except thank God I got a hold of a book that taught me how to live normally with OCD by behavior therapy. Plus I was prescribed prozac which helped a lot. I became very thin many times in my young adult life because I was afraid of eating for various crazy OCD reasons.
Anyhow I live a very normal life now and control my OCD except for the thoughts that pop up in your head that are unwanted and except when I am close to crashing, I notice negativity gets stuck in my head and it's hard to do anything about, so I try to avoid negativity because once it gets stuck it causes my body to crash.
!" I've never come across anything more therapeutic than that. I wish their was a book like "The Artist's Way" for sick people. Maybe I will write one. "
I hope you do, it sounds really interesting. Maybe you could go into more detail here, so we can try it.
"Anyhoo.... Rambling again. I don't talk much lately so..."
I never consider you rambling. It's your "Ramblings" that I have come to really enjoy reading on here.
You can usually tell when I haven't had the opportunity to talk to much, too. I usually do on here. I know I was really out of my norm and just really chatty with Gavster one day. lol poor Gavster.