The problem "in her head" may be something about how the relationship is going out of the bed ... sex starts in the kitchen my Grama said.
a) one who is in it totally for himself and leaves her hanging, because when he's done it's all over. (This is reflected outside the bedroom.)
b) one who pretends to be interested in pleasing her, so her attempt to "ooh and aah" means that he will be earnestly trying, but will ruin everything every time by expressing his remorse at his "failure" and go on and on about "her problem". (This is also reflected outside the bedroom.)