I understand you points, but this is supposed to be a website for healing - and posts which stoop to name-calling, slurs and put-downs are anything but healing. I would also state that stress and emotions can very much have physical effects and thus words can indeed hurt you. Not everyone has the emotional make up to withstand being verbally assaulted, and I that is likely especially true for those who are suffereing from physical and mental problems who come to this forum for help and healing.
If TOS and the Webmaster's instructions say to attack the message and not the messenger, then either that should be enforced or else the rules and instructions should be tossed - and what a cess pool that would create!
There are plenty of no-rules cess pools out there which allow verbal abuse, I and a great many others don't want this to be one of them. If a person cannot debate on the merits of their own arguments without allowing their messages to become personal, then they should not be debating - at least not on this site.