But I have MCS, which means that I am sensitive to many things, and I react in so many different ways. So part of the constant struggle is trying to understand what is what, and really, if anything I am doing is making me better or worse. You basically feel like you are drowning with no life raft and grasping for air the whole time. That's the best visual I can come up with! And that's probably exacerbated by stress, no doubt, but I have no clue how I would feel without it, since I live in the worst environment for my health. Yes, the street would be worse, I am very aware of that, and I am very greatful- but you know when you are in a situation that's not helping at all.
I'm just tired. I have to place an order and I am going back and forth on what to get that is a priority for me. Truthfully, I don't want to do anything, because with doing comes the possibility that I will be spinning my wheels, as I have, and not knowing what is going on. I feel like my body doesnt want to take anything sometimes, but I do not have the will or the strength to water fast. The longest I have gotten is almost a day. I don't know. The infections are making me very uncomfortable and irritable at the moment, can you tell?