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1,852
Published:
14 y
Re: Re-Teach me how to date! What's going on?!
The thing that I learned after divorcing an abusive spouse was that it was imperative for me to find ME and fill that void with my Self (Self = that which makes me unique). Being "comfortable" with one's Self will preclude the "want" of having a relationship and, when it happens, it will happen when it's supposed to. You hadn't mentioned how long you'd been available since your long-term relationship ended, what the circumstances were, or anything else that might be applicable.
Yes, it's very chic to sleep with people that we date, but this can set us up for serious issues - sex becomes a precursor to committment, rather than a beautiful by-product of a loving, trusting, honest, respectful, encouraging, and supportive relationship. Personally, I would suggest taking things slowly, carefully, and wisely. Apply whatever valuable lessons you learned from the previous relationship in a practical sense - use your head rather than your emotions to avoid replacing one problem with another.
Additionally, in these days of escalating abuse and rampant sociopathy, I would run a background check on anyone that I intended to date. Yeah, I know it sounds extreme and I agree, but I've experienced several episodes (including the ex spouse) that might have been avoided if I had been proactive and chosen to run a background check. A couple of these episodes didn't even involve a romantic involvement! LOL
Good luck to you and best wishes!