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Re: Is my girlfriend bipolar ?
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Published: 12 years ago
This is a reply to # 1,648,411

Re: Is my girlfriend bipolar ?

Hi, there.  I haven't read all of the responses to your post, but I would offer this suggestion:  be very, very cautious about making a "diagnosis" as a layman, or asking others who are not professional clinicians to make a diagnosis for you.

There are many "red flags" that you're describing and you haven't mentioned how long this relationship has been going on or any circumstances as to how you met, etc., so there's only these red flags to go on.

Anyone who starts throwing the word, "perfect," around as a form of praise or chastisment is using words as weapons.  Nobody is perfect and to suggest that anyone is (or, is NOT) is playing with emotional fire.  Sure, there may be underlying nutritional causes for her contradictory behavior, but being promiscuous, history of abuse, etc., does not preclude bi-polar disorder.  Her behaviors could suggest any number of disorders that could be organic, or learned. 

I would gently suggest that you step back, re-examine everything about the relationship, including what your expectations are of her, and what you feel her expectations are of you.  How old is she?  How old are you?  Does she maintain good work ethics, or has she jumped from job to job?  What are you observing of her parenting skills?  What is her credit history?  Does she have a criminal history?  Is she attentive to her child's needs and emotionally bonded with her child?  Is she truly loving and accepting of you, or is she possibly looking for someone to help ease the burden of her situation?  Is money a big topic of discussion or disagreement?  Is she following through with promises, or is she apt to make grandiose promises that can never be realized?  Is she health-conscious for herself and her child?  Have you experienced the ups and downs of life with her, yet (illness, financial woes, injuries, death in the family)?  Etc., etc., etc.  Examination of the entire picture requires a certain amount of detatchment, as well as objectivity and this may take some effort to remove the "emotional Self" from the situation in order to use common sense.  Too often, we see things that seem be "too good to be true," and when the smoke clears and the hormones settle, we realize that we've made an error in our choices of partners.  Anything that seems to good to be true usually is - it just takes a while for us to see someone's true colors.  Consider taking a step back and taking in everything that you know and have experienced with this person and draw your own conclusions without trying to produce a diagnosis to explain or excuse her behaviors.

Best wishes to you.


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