Finished the first day. Nothing interesting happened. Though I tried jumping rope for the first time as a form of "exercise" and it felt hard at first then got easier. I seem to exercise more on days I don't eat and my mood and thinking feel more lucid.
I think about food and what I 'll eat this weekend. I figure if I have something to look forward to, I'll feel less tempted to overindulge in something before then. Maybe I will take a single square of dark chocolate and hold it in my mouth until it melts. And then have a cup of sweet cinnamon ginger chrysanthamum tea with a persian salad. I could make it really extravagant to far exceed the pleasure of binging or eating mindlessly and then repeat it the next day before fasting again.
I'll allow myself to indulge in this way for now because I tend to eat "healthy" food with my mind rather than my body and then end up devouring "unhealthy" stuff anyway. I think that creating this dichotomy of forbidden food and heavily advised food has something to do with why I tend to overeat. I hope that by fasting and allowing myself to enjoy what I crave the most, I can heal myself of this separation between mind and body and accept my flaws to go beyond them.
And then I can write about it here to give myself a nice appetite suppressing panic attack.