i hope this finds everyone well and content. it has been a while since i posted (i do check in and lurk periodically) and i felt like communicating.
i am on my third somewhat extended fast, my first was sept/oct- 29 days, second was feb/mar 17 days, this one will be 35 days, i am currently on day 22.
my first fast was a huge success, despite breaking it badly. i went on to incorporate very good habits that have stuck with me. my second fast was essentially a waste. i got overconfident about the cleansing power of the fast so didn't bother to prepare my body at all beforehand, and then, again, broke it badly. however, and this is perhaps most important, i learned a lot from that experience, just as much as from my first fast. my learning style is very experiential, which is okay.
so here i am, third fast, and feeling this is my most successful yet. however, my thoughts do turn to the refeeding and i am scared! i broke my previous fasts so badly, despite the cleanliness of my thoughts beforehand, that i fear the breaking of the fast inordinately. at the same time, this fast is different, because i feel a soft surrendering to the process and (to take a page from might sun tsu) my eyes are wide open this time. breaking a fast badly just isn't worth it, no matter how strong the food cravings may be. i don't want to jinx myself by going too much into details about how i will break it because the last two times i had these very elaborate plans that went right out the window. i don't want to do that to myself again.
i will greatly appreciate all your well wishes and would love to discuss the refeeding with anyone who wishes to go there. sorry this is so long. i hope i'm not a "troll."