Re: Can My Marriage Be Saved?
My first thought was to also say "move on". However, I keep coming back to what you wrote "we have a vulnerable 10 year old son to think about". So...I'm guessing that there is something going on with him that's different from other 10 year olds? A physical problem? An emotional problem? Both? Or is it that he is a typical 10-year old but you are just concerned about how a 10-year old will handle a divorce?
If he is your typical 10-year old, then with some extra attention and some counseling, he should be able to handle it. Divorce is never easy for kids (even grown kids) but should the situation warrant a divorce, assuming that there aren't any extenuating circumstances, kids can deal with it all.
So...if he is your typical 10-year old, then I would say "move on". If your wife says she never loved you, then it was very cruel of her to marry you and bring children into this world with you. You also have to wonder why she hangs around if she doesn't love you and has affairs. The right thing for her to do would have been to get a divorce.
However, without really knowing what the situation is with your 10-year old son, I can't really say your situation is black and white. If your son has some problems, then you have a grey area.
If he does have problems that you think will be exacerbated by a divorce, then you need to sit your wife down and lay it on the line. Tell her that you are devastated by her behavior and that she needs to grow up and put her family first. Tell her that you expect her to fully committ to making counseling work. If she balks at this, then it's time for you to consult the best divorce lawyer that you can find.
Again, only you can really decide how to proceed as you alone know just what is going on with your son. Good luck to you!