With all due respect, I just don't know how to respond to what you wrote. I see it is full of deep feeling but I don't understand what you are saying except possibly for the part where you said: "...if the church are christian become like this fruit of love and no lies i will join you etenaly" All I can say to that is: "I wouldn't hold my breath". lol I don't believe that will ever happen. It is getting worse and worse, not better, at least as I see it. It's a marketplace selling, at best, what should be freely given and, at worst, selling false information with their "how to.." books and seminars. But, like I said before, it is playing it's part. A very effective tool to turn people off. But, it hasn't turned me off. It just tells me that it is not the real deal so, for me, it doesn't figure into the equation at all.
All I know, from my own experience, is that, when one is a seeker of truth, it is a very personal thing and a very lonely path. They will find no crowds around them except, perhaps, those who would try to discourage them in their quest because truth makes manifest. It exposes, not only where we are at in the depth of our soul, but also where the world around us is at and that can be scary and can shake us to our core. And who wants that? Or who wants to be around someone like that? Only one who values truth above exposure or above their "comfort" zone.
I don't believe truth hides from us. I think we hide from truth because it makes manifest whether it's spiritual truth, or even just the truth about what is really going on around us in this world. But people also hide from that too, at least, that's what I've seen.