Iím sorry Iíve been M.I.A. on posts again. Life, as Iím healing more and more everyday, is heating up. Iím not at my computer a whole lot. Between IP stuff, talking to my coach, doing housework, trying to get my life back on track, I lose track of remembering to post. Incidentally, weíre leaving for our honeymoon (the real version) tomorrow morning and so, Iím already packed so I can sit here with this castor oil pack on, calming myself for tomorrowís long flight to Hawaii Ė and catching up on some posts. :D
WHAT WE ADDED
I want to make mention of many things that Iíve noticed shift over the last many weeks. Iíve added local bee pollen (1 tsp, 3x/day), dried ground herbs called ĎNerve Foodí from Dr. Christopherís Blend, ĎNerve Sedativeí Tincture, super therapeutic amounts of ĎAdrenal Supportí, ĎSkunk Cabbageí (nerve reparative) tincture, ĎAmla Berryí powder (an ayurvedic herb), Acerola Cherry Powder, and the most precious herb Iíve ever come across, ĎLadyís Slipperí.
All of these have rounded out the adrenal and nerve repair I needed. Unyquity and I have narrowed the IP focus to now work primarily on adrenal repair and nerve health. Iíd gotten to a point where my weak wrists and lack of grip strength had become spasms and dropping objects. My hormone balance had also gotten to a point over the last many years whereby shortly after I finish menstruating, I go from being relatively intelligent to just short of catatonic and drooling on myself. I canít do simple math for a week, am good for very little besides house cleaning. I cry a lot those weeks, feeling like Iím sabotaged by a hormonal cycle and adrenal fluctuations that I watched drive my mother to madness (literally).
Iím thrilled at the above prescription. Itís working tremendously well. Iíd like to list some of the most miraculous changes Iíve watched occur. As my friend Kathy would say, Ďitís when you notice the Ďgone-nessí of something that you realize youíre better and betterí. Sheís right Ė sometimes it takes a few weeks for you to realize that something has shifted. What a wonderful blessing it is!!
RACING MIND AND FOCUS ABILITY
Even when my mind is racing now, I think 3 thoughts at once, not the average 20 Iíve stayed at pretty much my whole life. 3 thoughts at once is a miracle onto itself.
NEURO HEALTH, HAND-EYE COORDINATION, NERVE IMPULSES
I keep a cardboard blotter under my laptop on my desk. Just cut up big sheets of cardboard to keep on your desk to make notes on Ė thatís what I do. Thereís an ĎAsk Kristií column and cartoons, ĎIP Post Notesí, etc. I was writing in cursive on the blotter a few weeks ago and noticed I wasnít skipping letters. I hadnít noticed the Ďgone-nessí of this yet. For years (easily 5 or 6 years) I havenít been able to write. Itís a darned good thing I type super fast because the information from my brain to my fingertips around a pen has not been right for some time. Itís been maddening. Iíve had a pattern whereby I write a few letters and skip a few letters in a word. Say Iím writing the words, Ďamino acidí, Iíd write, literally, Ďamno acdí or if I were writing the phrase Ďremember to write unyquityí, Iíd write Ďrmbr t wite unqutyí. For many years Iíve been inserting letters and Ė it caused me to just start typing more Ė my ego couldnít handle looking at the chicken scratch anymore. So, I took to my blotter for these next few posts and I noticed, I was writing calmly and fluidly and got a whole list of (ironically) things that had changed with the nerve reparatives and poof Ė there were no missed letters and everything looked ready to hand in for a cursive grade in secondary school. (!!!!!!) Iím SO THRILLED ABOUT THIS!!!! This alone shows me that Iíve changed rapidly on a deep level that I canít even begin to understand yet Ė but will. I think this is indicative of bigger changes than I can really understand!!
WRIST PAIN AND STRENGTH
My wrists are much stronger and theyíre not sore or spasming. I havenít dropped anything in a month and I Ďfeelí my wrists, hands and fingertips all the way down. No numbness, no tingling and I feel myself when I grip a glass or a pen Ė itís very exciting!!
ELECTROLYTES, FINGERNAILS, BONE & NAIL HEALTH
My fingernails started to peel and trim, like a Bonzai tree in many ways, when I was like 15 or so. They didnít grow anymore and didnít grow, specifically, on the sides. They started lifting from the sides of the nail bed and the cuticles seem to pull back from them. The sides of the nails were very weak as a result and never grew past the cuticle bed. Theyíre growing and theyíre strong. Iíve been filing them like once a week Ė and that is huge! We could definitely point to electrolyte balance and I can also say that this is indicative that the body has enough mineral balance to even look at growing nails! Iím quite sure the therapeutic amounts of Herbal Calcium tincture and BF&C tincture have a huge bit to do with my body absorbing and appropriating not only the electrolytes but Silica as well!!! (thank you Kristi, please take a bow!!!)
My fingers and toes have been sore, hurt even, at the ends for years now. Itís made no sense to me but if I push on the tips of my fingers or toes, push a toe into the floor Ė theyíre super sore. Itís been very saddening for an artist Ė and Iím pleased to say that my digits are sore no more!! They feel like regular fingers and toes!!!
As I said in a previous post, Iím hearing music differently. Iím hearing it more complexly, like in my freshman music appreciation course Ė lower, deeper levels of compositions that I donít think Iíve heard in a decade. Iím very much looking forward to going to the symphony this summer! Oh Ė itís going to be divine!!
ADRENAL RESPONSE TO EXERCISE
When I exercise now, my adrenals arenít over-stimulated and I donít feel like Iím going to have a panic attack anymore!!!
My breathing has improved dramatically. It took a few days for me to notice that I am breathing, with ease, into the lower lobes of my lungs. There is no forcing or Ďrememberingí to take a deeper breath. Itís happening automatically, like it should, and that alone is creating a huge amount of calm for me. I havenít taken my inhaler in six months probably and that Ė through allergy and spring season!!
Depression AND REASON
Iím much less depressed, cyclically, than I was even a few months ago. Now, when Iím depressed, Iím able to pull myself up by my neuro-boot straps and talk to myself. Iíve felt for years, when depressed, I was looking through a screen-door to my rational mind and just not quite able to Ďget thereí and now Ė the screen-door has opened and I have my access back to remembering self-confidence and reason when Iím plummeting.
SLEEP REPAIR AND THE DREAM STATE
Iím sleeping more peacefully than I have since I was 20. Thatís 15 years, folks. 15 years Iíve been trying different methods whether it was passionflower, visualization or art Ė many methods to try and calm my brain before sleep. Iíve had the hardest time quieting my mind to fall asleep that it created a situation whereby I do housework or some other quelling/completing task for many hours before bed to try and make myself feel Iíve accomplished something and am worn out enough to just pass out. Even so, itís still taken ear plugs, crystals under my pillow and curling up tight next to the man to get me even close to calm. I have nightmares of significant historical familial value that are now starting to fade. Nightmares that have followed me through my waking hours for years after I have them. I watch my family members commit suicide and leave each other to suffer all over again, I watch my health wither in other ways, I weep by myself in dark corners, I feel unloved and alone Ė weíre talking REALLY visceral, VERY sad, VERY real things. These dreams have been dark in color, low lit and verrrrrrry detailed. It is a huge source of sadness for the man that I have these dreams. Iíve tapped on it, Iíve told myself I donít have to have these tapes. And in waking life Ė I donít think these things throughout the day. Iím pretty at peace with their decisions to die and how they happened (and thatís not how they happen in my dreams) and I know my health is healing rapidly in waking life. But my fear spots in my subconscious batter me nightlyÖuntil recently. Iím healing Ė even in my dream state. Iíve had food and laughed with my brother in my dreams. My mom came to a dinner party I was having in my dream state, Iíve laughed, Iíve cried with joy to see them. Now that youíve choked back tears for reading this part Ė Iíll tell you a funnier one, how bout that? :D
In a recent dream, I was on a motorcycle. I havenít ridden a motorcycle since I was 16 but from the age of 5 to 16, I was on one daily unless it was snowy or icy outside. I donít know if Iím at the space yet, coordination wise, that Iíd get back on a bike Ė but in my dream Ė I rocked it for all it was worth. I was on a highway, on a crotch rocket (not my style but work with me here) and I was bearing down, shifting rapidly and getting upwards of probably 100mph. Zooming in and out of cars, playing cat and mouse like I used to play with my brother as a kid. I felt the wind in my hair, blowing it crazy, the sun was beaming down and I could feel the heat from the tail pipe and the tires of cars as I wizzed in and out of traffic. Lol Ė and all of this seemed so reasonable. To top it all off, I was in a vintage silk Chinese coat, no less Ė a lovely dusty rose with muted colored embroidery of lotus flowers. It flapped in the wind behind me like a cape. And as all of this seemed perfectly reasonableÖmany minutes went by and another motorcycle sped up next to me. I glanced over quickly and poof Ė I realized my dream was getting rather silly when Angelina Jolie was racing me down a highway. I started laughing and that part of the dream ended. Yes Ė I even mock myself in my dream state. Lol!!! :D