The first time I flushed, I pre-dialed 911 on my phone and left it by the bed. I was so scared and alone. I thought I might suffer from the flush, with no one to help me. I'd done some bowel cleansing, but wondered if it was enough. I didn't have the HCL... I was afraid, but I knew my body was telling me my filters needed cleaning. So I just did it. All was fine. I've now gotten more sensitve, so I flush before I start showing physical signs of liver congestion.
Sounds like you are having troubles keeping it all in perspective. We are all born, we live and we die. Hopefully, the time between birth and death is healthy, happy and productive. Taking reasonable care of one's health may improve one's chances of living a healthy and happy life.
The flip side, when one is anxious about one's lifestyle, shortens one's life. That doesn't mean that one should never consider the harm of smoking or other toxic habits, but it means that one should keep it in balance. Lose the bad habits but don't compensate for the toxic behaviors with anxiety about having behaved in a toxic way, etc.
Balance is key -- enjoy being healthy. Listen to your body, give it what it needs and don't give it what it complains about. Most importantly, keep it all in perspective. Life is joy. Enjoy it all, even the liver flush, but don't obsess over the details or specifics. Extremes of any sort are a problem.