I just wanted to let you know that I read your post, and you were honest and forthright and real. I totally understand where you are coming from, and I know what you are going through. Anne, I don't know when and I don't know how, but I know, from the bottom of my heart, that things are going to be okay, and YOU WILL get through all of the hardships, and YOU TOTALLY DESERVE to be healthy and happy!
We have a lot in common, girl- in terms of background and dealing with all the 'real life' circumstances that keep us going in circles...I don't have a hubby or kids, and I am not working- but my own health issues, prevent me from having any support or family around me- and trying to make ends meet and do protocols and be well, AND having constant reactions- well, I hear ya. I KNOW what you are feeling.
I love you girl:) I'm pulling for ya! I don't think you've wasted anyone's time here. We all love you and your spirit and your honesty. This road IS a bumpy one for sure, and Lord knows, I don't have all of the answers myself....but I know that good and light and love and healing WILL prevail.
I wish we lived in the same town, 'cause I'd be so happy to be your buddy, and make juices together and support each other! Some of us really need that- I don't care how much of an inside job healing is- some of us really need to have a physical presence while going through this, so that we don't feel so alone and crazy all the time. I know that!
Keep your chin up hon- and be careful with the alcohol. I know that you have liver issues, as do I, and alcohol just messes with it so bad...so drink lots of water to help flush things through. With me, I go for sugars and carbs when I want to distract myself, and 'leave' for a while, but it always bites me in the a** afterwards....making it so much harder to get back on the healing bandwagon again...
It does look like you have to make a decision. And maybe it'll have to be that way every morning of every day for however long it takes you to get well- like every morning, reconfirm what you want for yourself, for your life, for your future, for your health and for your family. It really is about you taking care of you- 'cause without you, your family will not have anyone to depend on. They love you and you have to love you too:) I love you and well all love you Anne! Don't ever forget that:)
I'm glad that I stayed up and came back and saw your post. You're never alone girl, we're all here for ya, always.
Take care and have a restful night. Tomorrow is another day!