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Holding a Grudge
rudenski Views: 2,622
Published: 10 years ago
This is a reply to # 1,531,795

Holding a Grudge

If I repeat myself, know it is not my intention,,, but I just wanted to tell you a few small parts of the personality of the light I met in my NDE... The light does not hold grudges. The light recognized that quality in me. I had all kinds of brainwashing before my NDE but I am
not talking about how I was programmed to hate on people not like me... I am talking about when someone hurt me or dissed me. I could just let it go. I would look inside myself and try to find the meaning behind why someone would want to hurt me. I think somehow those parts of me gave me some type of spiritual advantage over those who can stay angry for long periods of time.

I was all kinds of goofy and goofed up growing up but I could just do cool things because I didn't
know better. I could ride a motorcycle through the air and it was like an extension of my body. I flew airplanes solo when I was 15. I prayed daily. But I was living in a bubble of what was a type of nationalist stereotype. If I had not died, I am certain I would have caused all types of harm, all the while believing I was a good person.

What I called "God" then... I only say lightly today as that word has too much villainy attributed to that name's followers... but whatever the light is by
spirit the light had a way of looking beyond my follies and into the best parts of me that was not judgmental in a negative way... truly like a loving parent looks at their child who they are proud of... looking for any reason to praise them...

In my NDE, the light was looking for every opportunity to cheer me on... and I didn't have much to work with... I had spent 20 or so years of my life just running the program I was given by the world... but I did have some wonderful moments that delighted the light. My not holding grudges was one of them. My love of flying was another... but I was willing to kill the whole world to fly... but somehow the light did not see that about me. If I had not died, I may very well have let someone tell me to do something awful...and I would have done it... I had to be recalled though or I would have thought God wanted me to kill people... and it was never said but I knew by the absence of what God loved that those ideas of mine were not at all in alignment with the light I met in my NDE.

But what I am trying to say is that God created us with all of our frailties(with our agreement) and set us into motion but God could not judge and condemn us or God would have to judge God and condemn God for making us the way God made us... so what I am trying to get at is that God loved me because I judged me first... so I didn't have to go through the negative things I had done in my life review. If you want to avoid the the negative life review then you can do two things that were gifts I was given before I was ever born... Forgive quickly and judge yourself before
you judge another... and then forgive yourself... In this way you may get to see how the being of light sees you... after God judged God and forgave God... and what
this will do is allow you to move beyond the lower levels of heaven to join the great assembly of souls who could roughly be called the sum of all love. If you do hold grudges then you may be limited by your own lack of forgiveness to only be surrounded by souls who still held grudges and or those who had not forgiven themselves.

When I got back in line to go back to earth I knew I had made that trip many times before. I hope that I will keep my mind that forgives quickly so I can move on to vastly higher dimensions of higher love. I want my brain to be healed of its short memory but I would rather remain brain damaged than to lose my short memory of harm... Give love and do not forget the harm done to you but imagine if you will what it would be like if you were to live the life of the person who harmed you... What if God had given you their exact set of circumstances... would you not have done the same thing?

God is love but if your God is not just love then you may not get to participate in what I see is coming to those who will let go of their psychotic one moment and loving the next moment God. I met that higher God= The Sum of All Love who is simply love... I am only saying this now because I finally have the language to articulate it. I hope you will remember how much...whatever you want to call God.... God loves you... God loves you enough to let you take as many lifetimes as it takes to get you back... but if
you could just see how God really loves you and the very people who hurt you... through the lens of love... you could forgive yourself and others...

I try not to speak for God but if you are hanging on to a judgmental God then that might be who you meet before God forgave God... There is a better version of God though... And that God doesn't just love you... That God likes those
parts of you that struggled and failed... and got back up and tried again... I hope through your failures and faults you remember who the maker of the light that is your soul
is and hope you make that loving being of light your God...


You will not be punished for your anger you will be punished by your anger. - Gandhi

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