Well one thing I do know is that I don't hate myself and I know that in the past I've had tramatic experiences in my child hood. I have delt with this for along time over the years and took meds only for a short time and God had healed through mediatating on the word of God. I've been recently healed from an ailment which used to torment me for years but now that the ailment is gone it's something that I know I need to deal with still.
It's like when a person who's may have had weight issues and even after losing the weight still have to deal with the other issues that may have plaged them over the years. I'll take it God in fasting and prayer because I have been dealing with some personal family issues which could have triggered them, but thanks you all for the imput. Because I hadn't really had one in a good 5 months.