I too, am a Christian suffering from this illness. I had a traumatic childhood and believe that the anxiety created by that is the primary cause of my IBS and leaky gas problem. I have had my moments as well of "offing myself". But there is always something that tells me there is more to life than just this! I pray about it and ask God for some answer or cure. However the moments where I feel the lowest is the most scariest and darkest. I recently started seeing a therapist. I think she is trying to understand where I am comming from but I think its hard for anyone who isn't going through this to understand what this feels like. It is even hard for families to be supportive. There needs to be a stronger network of sufferers so we can be of support for each other and not HIDE from the embarrasement. Please keep in touch.