Re: Getting your Armageddon survival kit through the border.
Especially when you have friends who live right on the boarder. And I do mean right on it. The kitchen is in Canada and the dining room in the US. You just slide it across the table. There are hundreds of such homes on the border between you and us. A border that extends over 4000 miles long and is 3 times longer than what you have with your Latino neighbours to the south. So there is no possibility that I am placing anyone in danger by saying this. Talk about chasing a needle in a hay stack.
You would have to learn to say "eh" instead of "huh" and swear that Wayne Gretsky is your 3rd cousin half removed. All Canadian folk know that his birthday is Jan 26, 1961. Just in case you are asked what the capital of Canada is, just say "thirty-five cents.".... which by the way is almost (minus)27.3 trillion dollars a head of the US and its present pork-u-lous program. ($27,300,000,000,999.65 to be exact). Be sure you have a hockey puck in your pack sack, and that you know all the words to Oh Canada.