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My Birth Mother

Flesh Eating Cancer Stopped
This Blend of Colloidal Copper, Silver and Zinc stops thos...


Flesh Eating Cancer Stopped
This Blend of Colloidal Copper, Silver and Zinc stops thos...

Molly Bloom Views: 20,858
Published: 11 years ago

My Birth Mother

I had no idea where to post this to express my wish.

I'm 53 and adopted at 4 weeks old. No one, unless adopted, knows how this feels.

I loved my adopted Mom and Dad. I've always known I was adopted. But there was something missing, like the big elephant in the room. I looked so different, I acted different, I had strange talents, I developed strange habits. My Mom and Dad were like a black and white 1950's TV Series without a laugh track. I am Roseanne Barr to their Nancy and Ronald Reagan.

So for all my life I pretended that I didn't care. That I don't want to know. This life was good enough, why should I search. I should be happy to have a stable home and a Mom and Dad that loved me.

They loved me to a certain extent. But in HS when it became glaringly apparent just how different I really was, they didn't try to help me find out who I was, they tried to turn me into mini versions of themselves. There was a lot of judgment and a lot of resentment. Then after I went to college there was many years of neglect. No real contact even after their grandson was born. My family and I were not "their kind of people".

Anytime I brought up searching for my biological family my mother became an emotional wreck. I think she always thought that I was trying to replace her. So out of respect I never searched. That was until she died one year ago.

Two months ago my husband found this picture on the internet that looked exactly like me...circa 1950's. When I say exactly, I mean dead on. A woman in a photo. The problem is the person that had posted that picture didn't remember where he found it. So I looked and looked and used every skill to find the picture. I was sure I was related to this person, if not my birth mother. I finally found it. It was in an archive photography book of photo booth pictures. I emailed the authors on Facebook and nothing. No response.

But that got me thinking about it. So I went on some adoption sites and found out that Massachusetts, my adopted state, opened all the records in 2007. All I had to do was fill out a simple, notarized document.

Next week I will have my original birth certificate. For any of you who are not adopted, I can't tell you what this means. It's beyond imagination that I will have names and family history....genealogy. I will have roots. I may have siblings. She may be dead. I may have my birth father's name.

What do I wish? My fantasies for 53 years have been all over the place. Now I have to put those fantasies away because I will have reality. A reality that may or may not be positive.

So if she is alive, I have to decide if I'm going to open the reunion box. It consumes my thoughts. The elephant in the room......

I guess you all must be thinking, so what? You are still you. You had parents. You had a good life. True. But to not know anything about your self. You are one big ....?

My wish? I wish for all that I have wished for during 53 years. And at the same time I hear that statement in my careful for what you wish for.

At the end of the day, I wish she were some vastly rich person with no family....LOL. But at the very least, I wish to know how I got this really loud and full laugh. Maybe someone out there can laugh like me. If it is she, then we will be good friends.


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