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Re: LAT relationship. How long for?
 
Shalfen Views: 2,694
Published: 15 y
 
This is a reply to # 1,484,321

Re: LAT relationship. How long for?


Thank you so much Molly.

In my previous post I was just trying to cut short on details.
He actually is everything you mentioned. He's really loving, considerate, helpful, positive and lots of other things. He adores me, perhaps even a bit more than I adore him.
But I guess I have set the protection bars too high, because I don't want to suffer when he's not around. It's not easy to be a single for nearly 5 days a week and play happy family only at weekends.
I noticed some people who asked about us were quite perplexd and when it happens I feel embarassed. I do not know many people in the same situation, especially a 43 y.o. man who lives at home with mum, dad and 40 y.o. brother.
I think that's not living as an adult. If you live with your parents you'll always be a child, with no responsibiily, no worries, no bills, no goals, no privacy. Whereas I feel the burden of all this things being alone.
You're probably right in saying that I set my bar of expectations too high and my level of tolerance too low. But when we're adults time is also quite an important constraint and we can't just play boyfriend and girlfriend. There aren't many fast trains we can catch if we want to get far.
On the other hand, you're definetely right, partners who are always around with no friends and no hobbys are boring, whereas all his hobbys make him a much interesting persons. He's got hundreds of anedocts to tell. But I cannot share his interests with him. That's it.
Also, I think there's a time when someone can realize that there something more in life than playing basketball and motorcycling. A lot of people have given up some things they did as young singles.
And believe me, I've raised these issues many times, talked about our life together. He seems to agree with me, mentioned marriage in more than one occasion, sometimes about children. But then, he doesn't seem to take the steps to do anything. And it's always me to initiate a conversation about all this things.
 

 
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