love. love is the only measure -- what connects us to one another is love. to choose love is to choose God -- to choose the reality of existence -- that there is a whole/a oneness to existence and that we are a part of that oneness.
the danger in being judgmental about others is that you are disconnecting yourself from their potential perfection. There is no one keeping us out of heaven but ourselves and our ignorant perceptions about light and dark/ conscious and nonconscious ways of learning/being/doing.
the danger in judging yourself is that (again) you limit your own acknowledgment of your (potential) perfection within God.
Those who become engaged in vendettas and/or the manipulations of less than free populations to make war on one another are providing lessons for those who are learning just as you have learned. We do not all seem to arrive at the same place at the same time. Be happy that you have learned and let the past go. To everything, there is a season -- turn, turn, turn. If someone else judges you -- that is their problem.
It may sometimes horrify us the things we have done when we understood less -- but forgiveness usually must be given to the self first before one can truly forgive others. Commend yourself on how far you have come and continue to share your journey with others so that they will not feel that they are alone as they walk the same/similar paths.