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For Near Death Survivors
 
rudenski Views: 533
Published: 10 years ago
 

For Near Death Survivors


I was thinking of that child who came so close to death... in that airplane crash

10 of the last 25 years since my NDE, I could not work for the pain, injury, and depression... I am back to doing meaningful paid work but there were years when I did not make any money to speak of... I had hand-outs...food stamps...free lunch programs for my children... mind numbing pain... I was betrayed... I had utility assistance... vocational rehabilitation... physical therapy... hunger... pain so loud there was constant ringing in my ears.. bouts of homelessness... hurt... crushed down into a pile of flesh and bones that clung to a soul that wanted to go home...

Even though I knew I was loved by God... I screamed at God for letting me come back here... it was all a trick... I judged myself and came back... and for what...

Because I had all kinds of hate... before my NDE... or I feared people I never knew... so I thought...not like me... for people I did not know... who were in pain, the injured, depressed... for those who took hand-outs...food stamps...free lunch programs for their children... and I did not see... they had mind numbing pain... that they were betrayed... I judge those who had utility assistance... for those the government paid for their vocational rehabilitation... physical therapy... and those who were hungry... I was thoughtless... judging the man with a cardboard sign... with pain so loud there was constant ringing in his ears.. her ears... I loathed those with bouts of homelessness... I could not see they were hurt... crushed down into a pile of flesh and bones that clung to a soul that wanted to go home...

But today... I am still here to learn lessons... until I take away all of the layers of my hate and my fears... until all that is left of me is soul.. until I share my soul with every other soul... that needed me to learn from them... the least of these... If you are here... know you are here to let go of your fears... let go of your hate... as people who are not like you... may end up being you... but if you hold a grudge against anyone for anything... you may not have to learn your lesson in this life... but in the next one... So if you are hanging on...even while your body screams to leave... it may very well be... because you need one last lesson learned before you can move on...

And if you get that lesson and you are still alive... then you may still have hidden layers to release... Pain is a stop sign... to let you know to stop and pay attention... Depression is your mind... telling you that you are off track... Get the lesson and the pain may move on... Do something different... shake it up... Volunteer to help someone,,, Just start giving what you can... Find that thing you need to learn... I don't know if it will take as much suffering as I went through... to get to you... but now I listen very closely to that quiet... still voice.... because I have had enough suffering...


If you end your tour... and there is nothing left of you... then you can be sure...it is okay for you to walk right out of that body... but if through all of the learning and burning... you learn to smile while you cry... laugh as you die... then you will baffle those who do not know... you will earn the respect of angels... and you never lost it.... but you were brave to try anyway...

Thinking of those who have gone on before.... knew there was better... and returned anyway...

Love, & Light, & Joyful Laughter to you... and that love, light and joyful laughter in you is all that will make it through... so even when you are in horrific pain... smile anyway... because you get to keep those smiles forever... and ever... where every tear is wiped away...

rudy
 

 
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