The way I look at it is it was through the help of all of you. It was your advice that I took and used to what I thought would hopefully heal my BF.
The only thing I can say now is the road to recovery will be long one. I have had the opportunity to meet some wonderful people here on this forum who by the grace of God has alowed me to find you and do what was necessary.
Human nature is to mourn the loss of a loved one and I have so much have been mourning him. I cannot thank God enough for putting him in my path. I have learned soooo much from him and wasnt ready to let someone as special as him go. (its the selfishness in me I guess).
I know that when one door closes another will always open. Thats exactly what happen to me as of today and I cannot again thank the father God almighty enough for that.
My biggest fear (besides losing my BF) was that the connections he had would disappear along with him. For instance: my BF's brother-in-law knew nothing of me and allot of what we had started to learn was through him which in turn led us to this forum. I actually had no one to turn to and had to call on him to find a way to contact my BF's son. After a few conversations he offered to continue the guidence he offered my BF.
I cannot explain how wonderful that man is. I have only heard of the great things about him and now have the opportunity to deal with him one on one and still get the guidance I was so desperately looking for.
I have been mis-guided throughout my life and when I had started to learn the things this man had to offer (through my BF) I was hooked and wanted more. It has made me take a long hard look at my life and I came to realize that almost everything I had learned throughout my life was wrong or the info was half right. I didnt nor do I want to live in deception like Satan wants us to.
So again thanks to everyone and ther help it meant so very much to me that there are people like you in the world. It wasnt just all me it was all of you as well. I will never forget your kindness.
I know that this is only a steping stone to get to the next stage so to speak (when we pass) but having never experienced a loss of a loved one I have taken it very hard
and feel guilty for trying so soon to get over the grieving of his loss. I am not angry at his passing, I am not mad, I am not sorry I just feel crushed. It is because I am so much younger than he was that I have allot of my life left. I know this shall pass but its just hard to think about right now. It is still (obviously) very fresh and like I have been told earlier today : Time is a great healer.