I am glad you check on things. One cannot be too careful when caring for one's body. And...every body is different. You are doing well to develop your own approach. Between propaul and me and a couple other members, we have given you a lot of information...perhaps too much too quickly. Go back and re-read the posts. That should help.
A good sense of humor is also a help. Last night, for example. Having done solo enemas for many years, I was so relaxed that I did not notice that the nozzle had kicked out and soapy enema solution was soaking the towels on which I was resting. No problem. My towels are in the washing machine as I speak.
Do you, by chance, have a trusted person who could help you with your enemas? 30 years ago, between my marriages, I dated a nurse colleague. She was a nursing instructor and very profic ient. She gave me many enemas in the couple of years we were together. What I learned from that was that having a helper allowed me to completely relax...without a single worry.
Propaul has offered you several informative sites here at CureZone. I hope you'll look them up.