I have experienced a lot of what you are talking about. I was in Depression months ago (it comes and goes depending on whether I'm getting enough nutrition (that's only part of the challenge)or have money to pay my bills, etc. (thoughts & words are important). Anyway, I was really down, wanting to go Home and the Lord brought to my remembrance, King David, King Solomon and Job and reminded me of their times of despair. It is a part of the human experience. I don't always feel the Holy Spirit but by faith I know the Spirit of God will never leave me nor forsake me. A rhyme came to me some time ago..God and me..we are family.
Some times I question where I fit into God's plan and a few weeks ago I was reminded that God is a God of detail and in God's plan you and I are details...very important details. That made me smile when I knew I was a detail. Another thing, I have read the bible for 30 years and believed for all that time that everything I read and was taught was absolutley accurate. Then I read the "Conversations With God" series and half way through the 1st. book I was so in awe of what I read, I told God "I now have doubts about some of the doctrines I had been taught over the years, but, I would always love YOU and serve YOU." The Spirit of the Lord replied "What else is there?" Do you love God with all your heart? Have you surrendered as much as you know how to do that? If so, trust that He is able to keep you. Some times I feel my heart is hard but God has been teaching me how to love more..Send love to all those who have hurt you and those who come into your experience, either personal or news (TV), driving, etc. Do it by faith and trust that God is working in you. It's not always about feelings....warm & fuzzy vs. calm, etc.