Well, it has been a year since my girl was attacked and hurt. no wonder I have grown to hate the holiday's. Seems life just reinforces my disdain for this season. My girl has moved on to a new school, yet the reports I hear from other kids who know her fill me with great sadness. She is heavily into drugs, violence, and gangs. What a waste, yet I sit helpless because of the law, school rules, etc, telling me that since she is at a new school, it's not my problem. The great excuse in our society...Not my problem, or it's not my job.
Now I have other kids, poor things, parents use intense putdowns in an effort to lead their child to a better life. "You are just a useless slut, you look and act like a prostitute, I bet you will be pregnant before you're 14, I'm sorry you were ever born, I wish you had died that day when you were a baby, and on and on it goes. Why do these parents even have kids.
The most heart breaking thing for this year was a new girl. Dad has become some born again, ultra fanatical zealot. Won't let my new student celebrate christmas, birthdays, nothing. Tells her that school will just poison her mind and lead her away from God. Well, I got her 2 little things, just simple things. Now I have heard of this, yet never seen it, until now. She cried when she saw the little gifts, then re-wrapped them. Each hour, she would come in, open them up, and look, thanking me, then asking my help in re-wrapping them. I was in tears too.
I know I sound like a broken record, I think it is just this anniversary has me down, and nothing I can do for any of them, so many want help, yet the legal guardian refuses, because, after all, parents do know best.
I think I need to move to a place, where there are no people...just me, some cats, dogs, horses, alcohol.
But, and here is the worst part, I miss my kids terribly and can't wait to see them, see how their holiday was, just be that one source of stability.
Thanks again for letting me rant, this is one place where people do understand, and those who were big on the putdowns, or know it alls, well, they have slowly drifted away.