CureZone   Log On   Join
Re: Is it abuse?
 
fledgling Views: 917
Published: 16 y
 
This is a reply to # 1,312,676

Re: Is it abuse?


Hm-m-m...

Most of society doesn't want to hear about abuse, mainly, I think, because they haven't a clue what to do about it, then, or now.

The attitude seems to be, 'get over it'...meaning, I think, 'get over it without involving me'.

That attitude also seems to mean that it IS possible to 'get over it'.

I wonder if your friend finds herself wishing that she is 'getting over it', and hoping that she IS 'coping'. Therefore, the past doesn't matter.

Life has a way of rushing on to the next 'problems' to be solved, whether or not we are ready.

If we have buried unresolved issues in our tissues, and attitudes, everything else we encounter has to be filtered through the unresolved issues.


Just yesterday I found myself cringing in embarrassment over an incident I had thought resolved long ago.

Then I realized that I have been physically 'cleansing'...and it is highly likely that bits of very old stored toxins are coming out of my tissues. It would be amazing if old emotions and coping techniques WEREN'T attached!

The neat thing about yesterday's 'crisis' was its weakness.

The embarrassment didn't last long, and vanished easily, because I have, recently, gone through simple 'healing' techniques that are brand new to me.

More than that, the embarrassment, itself, was weak, and I didn't feel it nearly as strongly as I would have in the past.


'Growing' out of past incidents, and how we felt about them, is a highly individualized process and depends entirely on our own store of understanding...the one we build as we go along, connecting the dots, and choosing our way.

Saying that the 'past doesn't matter' may even be a habit your friend isn't aware of...a 'blind spot'.

Long ago, a fairly new friend said to me, "I just love it when you do that. I can see you when you were about 12 years old."

"Do what?" I asked.

"Well, you shake both hands, like this. And you say, 'And all like that.'"

"No I don't," I replied.


So I watched myself for a time, and, yes, I did.

'Blind spots'...we all have them.


One day, when your friend says that the past doesn't matter, you may have the opportunity to kindly hold the mirror while your friend sees what she is saying...or you may not have that opportunity. You may not even need it...your friend may come to that understanding all on her own.

If you are anything like me, the best things to think and say, in any given situation, occur to me at least three weeks later.

Sigh.

So often, I am very glad I kept shut.

I have one friend who is a huge conversationalist. She certainly should be writing her vast experiences and all the amazing humor they contain.

But, she always has to return to one incident in her life. I have grown quite tired of it. Finally I felt I needed to say so.

Funny thing is that she STILL brings it up, every time we talk...which isn't often. But, now that she knows I object, she rushes right through the subject, though not in depth.

Oh well, it takes all kinds to make a world, I suppose. I wonder what other blind spots *I* have that continue to annoy my friends.

Good luck, Doll.

Fledgling

 

 
Printer-friendly version of this page Email this message to a friend
Alert Moderators
Report Spam or bad message  Alert Moderators on This GOOD Message

This Forum message belongs to a larger discussion thread. See the complete thread below. You can reply to this message!


 

Donate to CureZone


CureZone Newsletter is distributed in partnership with https://www.netatlantic.com


Contact Us - Advertise - Stats

Copyright 1999 - 2024  www.curezone.org

0.063 sec, (2)