I really feel for you guys and I see so many people on CZ hurting so much and courageously doing stuff that sometimes hurts them even more.
Try and love yourselves as much as you can cause you only have YOU. Give yourselves space. I found an affirmation that helped me think about it whenever I felt bad cause I was being judged or (even worst)judged myself.
"I AM NUMBER ONE"
Try and see this space as an adventure or something to discover instead of a plague you'd do anything to get rid of. I know it's cliché but still, "everything happens for a reason" and it's a wonderful reason I'm sure cause it concerns YOU.