I totally understand where you are coming from...that's all I can say. It is hard to get better when there is trauma, past and/or present in your life. I often worry that I may not let myself recover because the physical and mental anguish is often confusing to tell apart....meaning the symptoms are so alike at times.
I get it. I wish I had an answer! I can only imagine that getting the liver cleansed and everything working better would really help get rid of these issues too. It just makes so much sense....and when one starts to feel better, then perhaps any self-destructive behaviors naturally cease...that's what I'm hoping for.