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1,498
Published:
16 y
Another Perspective Regarding Your Friendship
From what you have described it sounds like your friend has really been through the ringer! It also sounds like you are making assumptions regarding her reason for wanting to talk to you. Unless I'm misunderstanding your post... she hasn't asked you if she could stay with you. Perhaps she is simply wanting to connect with her friends. Your worrying about something that may or may not be true is keeping you from reaching out to her. You need not tell her that you don't want a long-term visitor if she hasn't asked to stay with you. And even if she does ask... you can still say 'No' and continue to offer her your friendship. It sounds like she could probably use all the friends she can get!
I would also invite you to consider that there are always at least two sides to a story. Regarding her previously staying with your other friend... you indicated that she was not working. And yet... she was contributing financially and assisting with babysitting and housekeeping.... which is work. If you closely consider this arrangement from a financial standpoint... the friend who took her in may have actually gotten the better deal. As you have described her... it also sounds like she's a person who has done quite a bit to better herself and has survived in spite of some pretty challenging circumstances. In my book... she deserves to be applauded and celebrated instead of judged negatively. People change... and we also have to allow our perceptions of them to change as well.
Quite frankly... she may have a whole lot to offer you that you will only know about by maintaining your friendship with her. Everyone that we encounter comes into our lives for a reason and it is up to us to discover the gifts they bring. Adversity is an amazing teacher and she may have some very valuable lessons from which you could learn.