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Published: 16 y
 
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Hi, I hope things work out for you.

Change is difficult and breaking old habits is just VERY difficult, but you already know that! Don't let mean people (here or elsewhere) bother you, the world is FULL of them.

I don't believe in counseling, as I have watched a few people over the years be either drugged up by it ("here, take this medicine, it will help you change your thoughts") or various other things. I watched two friends who had two beautiful happy children, have their marriage destroyed when a "counselor" took sides. There were other reasons too, but I think the taking sides caused great friction in their marriage. I think the "counselor" actually made the situation worse. The "counselor" only knew them a little, and of course was not perfect himself, and had a set of ideas he operated by, and knew not much more than what was told to him in the sessions. One of the them was somewhat domineering and the other very quiet, and unfortunately the somewhat domineering one is the person who's story was believed by the "counselor," and also was the one the "counselor" sided with. The somewhat domineering one was the one who initiated the counseling in the first place. I saw the problems increase after the "counselor" took sides against the quiet one. I don't think it was a coincidence. I knew both of them, they were good friends of mine, and the problem the quiet one had was they just rarely stood up for theirself in any situation.

Friends could have told them what the problems were, it was very easy to see. I saw it but knew it would no good to say anything. For it to work for them, it would mean the somewhat domineering one would have had to see their personality for what it was, and it was much easier for them to go to another counseling session and place the blame on the quiet one. I lost contact with them over the years and was very sad to see their divorce in the paper a few years later. Anyway, I don't believe in counseling. One person tells a story to someone who has a set of ideas they operate by and the counselor rarely knows the person and sees only a very minute fraction of who the person is. How can someone form an opinion on that scant amount of information about someone?

I hope things work out for you, don't let mean people bother you, they are everywhere. Just ignore them.


 

 
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