You can't grow something good starting with a bad seed. Just what did you really need from this relationship? Maybe you didn't need anything from this relationship but wanted something from it that really isn't a good road to travel down for you?Maybe you really love husband much more? Remember in the end we have to pay for it all, if it's good choice we are paid off well and benefit by it and so do others, if it's not good then we have to pay for it and sometimes it's better to choose not to get our feet soaking wet if we don't have too.
You don't have to change jobs just tell her to leave you alone. From you message I got the idea that's what you really want. Right? You ever hear of harassment on the job? She can't do that!