Thank you Chrisb1 for your elaborate post. Probably more info than you needed, but does most definitely explain my surgical hesitancy. When the neurosurgery clinic ask why the delay, I told them finances and held my tongue on the part about all the possible repercussions from surgery which you have to basically sign your life away.
Your response "I am sure not everyone undergoes that kind of medical nightmare, and there are probably just as many successes as failures, so it does seem to be rather like a lottery." -- that is most true some people have come out better off than before. I even heard of a friend of a friend of a friend who had a doctor who had a patient that did quite well from spine surgery. haha Humor aside, yes one can recover and lives are saved by surgery and sometimes it just can't be avoided.
I had come a long way from the car accidents and thought the worst was behind so this was kinda shock to my system and then I found out my dad was having one surgery ( I need 2). Seeing what my dad went through was horrific. He lives in another city and the surgeon was reported to be good. But the physical therapy, the hospital acquired infections, complications of the surgery, toxic encephalopathy and ultimately the cost of his life and taking everything he had. It was a horrible way to go with intubation , restraints due to trying to keep him from pulling all the iv lines repirator and the like. Later he was put on food and it was horrible food , completely dead and devitalized and this was a patient they hoped to nurse back to health... ugh He had alot of pain in his lower legs but he could still walk use a scooter and had his mind and all that was lost. SO yes I am waiting a bit, praying alot about what to do, and trying some holistic methods that can only encourage better health.
Medical tourism might be the way to go. I had done some research and it was 1/7 of the price in US and post op care is much better. So the only question really is the skill of the neurosurgeon... In the end it takes a bit of faith , skill of the neurosurgeon, alot of work on my behalf to help my body heal itself. My sister freaked at the part of going to another country. There are no guarantees anywhere and it is not reasonable to be able to predict that for the most part because sometimes things are different once you are on the operating table.
I am okay with death as a consequence but not leaving my husband and family with extreme medical bills , prospect of losing the house and my death and or extreme disability. I have a strong independent streak and being a burden is not in my plans.
Well in essence I will keep fasting. May go to juicing soon as I get a juicer running and see what that is like for a few weeks and then back to water fasting. I plan to stick mainly with Water Fasting because of the inherent ability it gives the body to heal itself. WOW, love that thought that you have some control over things. I wish many more people knew about the fasting..
BTW when I was post fast after my first fast, I talked about it with my sister and she said "your trying to kill yourself". I told her no I am trying to heal myself. You are thinking of starvation, not fasting. I told her if she is truly interested in it then go to CZ or I could send her some info. She wasn't. But it did reinforce the concept that it is important to only tell/discuss with people who will have an open mind.
Anyway thanks for all your info. Sorry for allthe ramblings. Felt like talking and ended up writing.. :)