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Re: Bullying and violence in schools
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Published: 13 years ago
This is a reply to # 1,138,262

Re: Bullying and violence in schools


It's 4 in the morning. I just awoke in front of the TV...again...and again an idea popped into my head...

What if kids are smarter than we think, and just feel too much obligation to solve the problems around them?

A book once said that children 'have to' love their parents, because their very survival depends on it...that they will even defend a parent who hurts them.

Parents, on the other hand, may love their children, due to the pheromones babies and little kids give off, but be at a loss to provide the home and nurturing they wish they could.

Besides plain good health and well-being from a clean and health-giving environment, food, etc., maybe people just need one small thing they do well, to lift them out of the constant grind of the impossible.

The book, "King Rat," told of a prisoner of war who owned a needle. It was his secret...the one thing he could protect and polish and admire and keep hidden. And, according to the story, it saved his sanity.

The book and movie, "I Remember Mama," told of an immigrant family who gathered at their table at the end of the week, to count out and allocate the coins papa had brought home.

Mama always spoke of the 'bank account' they wouldn't have to dip into, this week.

There was a little can, too, of coins building toward "mama's winter coat" which never seemed to quite make it.

At the end of the story, mama must admit that she has never been inside a bank, and when asked why she told such a story, she says that children should always think there is a bank account.

When mama is fearful, she gets down on her knees and scrubs the floor, saying that she 'thinks better' that way.

We are all born with a 'fixer', inside, fueled by imagination...the constant obligation to 'fix' things is too heavy a load for little ones.

Perhaps a little imagination that provides a creative outlet, a space where the child can be successful, if only for a moment, would be enough to counteract a world of failure and striving against 'obstacles'.

I'll describe an 'Idea Party' I saw, which changed my thinking forever...

There were a hundred people gathered for a 'lecture'.

At the end of the talk MaryAnne was to present her Wish and Obstacle.

"My Wish is to sing and dance and entertain people. My Obstacle is that I don't know how to sing and dance."

Moderator: "Does anyone have an Idea for MaryAnne?"

(Pointing to one fellow who raised a hand...) "What is your name, and where are you from?"

"You drove from Edmonton to be here tonight? Welcome, Jay. Do you have an idea for MaryAnne?"

(MaryAnne has someone writing down the ideas so she may have a copy to take home with her.)

Moderator, summing up: "Your idea is to dress up and sing and dance in a hospital cafeteria, at lunchtime, for five minutes."

Then, turning to MaryAnne and repeating the idea, the moderator murmurs, "Thank the giver." Then, "Say one thing you like about the idea. There is always something to like about every idea, even the silly ones, and even if the whole idea isn't for you just now."

So MaryAnne says..."Thank you, Jay. What I like about your idea is that nurses and doctors need a break from 'talking shop'. I think they'd be refreshed from a person singing and dancing for a moment."

The beauty, and magic, of this format lies in the courtesy and welcome shown to each speaker. Every person in the room is glad Jay spoke up...and has an idea of their own they'd like to give.

(Using a person's name, once or twice, and turning to face them, listening to or addressing them, are powerful tools, too. The moderator's pausing to greet and welcome each speaker is priceless.)

Appreciation is the key.

Too, a person could do this for themselves, writing. First, identify a Wish and the Obstacle, and state it in simple form. Then, jot Ideas, even silly ones, thanking oneself and appreciating the good in each Idea, as it comes.

The 'fixer', within, doesn't care who is speaking...and 'appreciates' very nicely. There is 'magic' in the thought pattern...whether or not any of the ideas are ever used.

But, an Idea Party is far more fun with other people.

Surprises abound.

It's now 5:40 a.m. and I long to put this head on a pillow.

Your asking your question aloud inspires me, Sparque. Thank you so much.


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