Regret and remorse are caused by things that happened in the past. We
can do nothing to change the past, we can only live in the present moment
sometimes called "the now." We have to learn to be in the now,
and to live in the now and because of what has happened in the past and what we
illogically dream of for the future it is generally a process of learning to get
You're dealing with some of the things I used to have troubling me.
After trying a few things from Revaluation Counseling to Sylva Mind Control and
even an effective thing called Subconscious Behavioral Therapy I eventually
found meditation. I found a form of meditation that focuses inward (not on
my nose or naval) and activates my chakras and energy system. What I have
always liked about it is that I don't have to run to another person for help
when difficulties come up. I can deal with most all issues myself.
It took me on a journey of self-discovery and spiritual awakening that I never
expected, yet it is a never ending process and after almost 30 years I still
meditate an hour a day.
I have never used mood altering drugs and have learned in dealing with others
that they interrupt the meditative process by masking your true feelings.
While benzo may give temporary relief it hides the true issues you are dealing
with and hides your true feelings. It is also addictive over time.
I would also suggest some sort of counseling as a starting point. If
you are employed you probably have health insurance and most insurance covers
counseling. The thoughts you are dealing with are debilitating. The
first step is just exactly what you have done and that is to recognize that you
are having difficulties and reaching out to do something about it. Best to
you in whatever direction you take.