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Re: Absolutely, Sparque!
sparque Views: 5,866
Published: 11 years ago
This is a reply to # 1,130,503

Re: Absolutely, Sparque!

Wow...I've read your mssg a couple of times, and each time, it means something a bit different...I know our journey's through life bring us into contact with many different types of people. And each person we meet is there for a reason. To show us something in ourself, or to maybe further our growth...there are others...but you know what I mean...And it was funny, awhile back, I was afraid I was becoming one of those cold, sterile, unfeeling counselors...heard it all, seen it all. Now that is not how I am, but it was a truly deep fear of mine. Well, this girl totally blew that thought out of the water. I'm glad I'm not unfeeling, but damn....I felt too much, and I think she did of the therapists on campus was talking with me and said there is a reason he sees people once a week...on occasion, twice. That way he is able to keep some distance and perspective. I was with her daily, for 3-5 hours. So I didn't have a down time, a break in the action. My guess is that she was equally overwhelmed with the pressure, even though I told her I wouldn't ask questions unless she brought things up, my presence was a reminder. Plus, I go home at night, away from the drama of her home, her friends, her neighborhood. The dysfunction of all that just was too strong for her to resist. So my view is that her avoidance of me is not shame of what she revealed, but shame of what she is doing. She has seen me on campus, doesn't give a mad or upset look, just a look, then she quickly looks away. Sadly, with life in the ghetto, other kids have come in who need my help, so her time slots is being filled by others.
I am getting girls who have been placed into foster care. Most are long term. They hate the idea of family, yet like my room and me. They have become so very protective of me....cute..but I need to remind them that I am able to take care of myself. One admits to serious self injury and relapsed with her drug use. She told me about this and how she cut herself over the weekend. She was expecting either a shocked reaction or anger. I just touched her shoulder and said the pain and hurt you were feeling must have been horrible to make you use drugs again and cut. Well, the tears started and the whole story came out. It just reaffirms my belief that I really don't like most parents. My kids are made at home, created, not born with their disability. So it's interesting, my students are Special Ed, yet my counseling is with regular ed or gifted. I guess my patience comes through and the kids respond...
I like the exercise on listing who I would like to talk with and see what they would say. I've done variations on that, but the simplicity of yours is deep and moving. I'm thinking of my list, who will be on it...quite an eclectic list.
Thank you again for your really have no idea what it means...

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