NOT "dark moods and less dark moods," hon...bright and shining!
We who are not 'involved' can see that, clear as crystal.
Whatever it feels like inside, this is an entirely new phase of your growth...probably would have happened anyway, even if you had no 'experience' to reflect upon.
Again, this is not the same old same old. This is a new vision of yourself and your capabilities...a wonderous one.
What to 'do'...
...A 'team' is a great thing for getting good ideas to choose from. Everyone should have a support team, especially if the team never discusses the 'serious' stuff...just uplifting things...and laughs and smiles a lot.
A family member confessed to wanting to strike a very elderly man, in frustration.
Not nearly able to do anything about the situation, I simply told the younger man, "If I thought you really would do such a thing, I'd be down there in a flash."
Period. Full stop.
I let him see that I knew he wouldn't. I think I even added a little smile to the conversation, soon after.
I also compliment him from time to time, on easy stuff...my purpose being to show I understand his life and give a hoot whether or not he feels successful...and is in control. I hug him at appropriate moments...and hold the thought of peacefulness/happiness, non-judgemental, just confident that he will find his own way.
Your young lady is smart...just like you. That's why you recognize her.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if you have already communicated the signals that she will rise out of this to a happier life...sooner?
Inside, smile, and see her, and yourself, fulfilled and happy. That's what is coming, for both of you, you know.
There are no guarantees for the future, which is what makes it so scary, but you have made it so far. There is no reason to doubt your successfulness. The moon may fall from the sky, I know, but you'll go with a smile on your face...knowing you did your best. There is nothing better.
I wish you a fine success team. You'll be surprised who is on it.
P.S. Just for fun, jot a list of who, in all of history, COULD be on your team. (I like Gandhiji; and Elizabeth II; and a European lady of age whom I never met. I was told of her ability to raise people to their best, in an hour and a half, over tea.)
When you have a nice little list, jot what they would each say about you. Be lavish with praise. It's not like you are going to publish your list...unless you really want to!