thanksm nire qyestuins..

Archus,

Giving up meat, other than a little bit of fish, is not really hard for me, my digeston has been weak for many years, I have had colon problems since I was 4 or 5 years old.

And my adrenals are fatigued, stressed, etc, (I am supposedly PTSD) I have lost control of many of my bodily reactions, and the most stressful time of my life s at hand, I am changing everyhing, like the song says, "Everything around me." But I have to believe the world is a good place, and I wll find myself  in it.

I am 51. I have been on the "health" oddessy for 13 years, after an incident with the medical establishment that threw off my world. Not that my wolrld didn't need to be throuwn off, but the complications have almost cost me my life as I knew it.  Actually, those medical complications started when I was 5.  So I have a lovehate relationship with the medical profession.  They "Know" more than I but I KNOW MY BODY, and it is screaming for change.

So, tell me, since it is cooked, warm food that I can't seem to live w ithout. tell me about mixing and getting the best from that. Actually, I can't read a book, and even reading this is diffiuclut. In the last 6 months my "vision" has pretty much failed.  And the raw made it worse, I think because they did no spicy foods, and the blood doesn't get to my extremities. I am 51, I got down to 98 pounds eating the strict raw diet with wheatgrass, and altho I detoxed much, I got weaker, when I am battling for my life.  I am divorcing a toxic spouse after 28 years--I was VERY stuborn, and my "religious" beliefs had to shift beofre I realized that no God would wish for me such  pain and unhappiness being married to a toxic, controlling, unhealthy,limited being that my dear husband, and father of my 5 children, chooses to be. I was "seeing" (wishing...for the diamond in his soul to come out, and sure I could bring it out, and it cost me my health, almost my life. He scoffed and laughed and mocked as I gave up dairy, and cheese, and sugar, and white four and pop--he thought it reidicuoulout, and that my deep depressions were nonsense-why would I not just take medication like all the other women with "those" mental problems.

 I am getting f ree, but I shake so easily, my heart races just talking to him, and when I left for the OHI institue, I was bleeding nose, mouth, etc, cramping, not eating, not sleeping, and unable  to care for myself.  Weeping constantly.  But I wanted to survivie. I have a 13 year old son whom my husband is thinking HE will raise because of my health issues, and he thinks that since I am leaving the marriaghe, and that my eating silliness is made up, my sisnsitivity to noise, electromagnetic frequencies, are all no nsense, he things he should give me nothing,k has hired an expensivie lawyer, and he is planning on, either giving me little or haveing me go on disability.

 I am "dumping" because my anger and hurt blubble up and b ecause I will be who I haven't been for years. But if stress, toxic rationships, and poor food choices got me where I am (okay, it was a learning experience) I need to stellle and be c alm to get thourough this storm.  That is why, if some cooked food, to make my digestion work , to settle me, whtever I need, except drugs, I will do.  But it takes so much energy dealing with the visual issues, the health issues, the MONEY issues (I am so shoocked at how everything is about money, but ofgten if I don't eat organic, I get sick to my stomach).  So eating processed foods, is NOT good for me, but then again, I need, or seem to ned for comfort, crackers, at least, and I don't know if I can learn to use the dehydgrateor.

 Anyway, thank you for letting me dump on your shouldner. I have just learned hoew to blow the screen up to read responses, but I am not proofing this, I simply trust my typing and hope my finers stay on the right keys.

PS. do you have anythougt about sprouts vs wheatgrass. Apparently, growing the wheatgrass is just a little too much for me with all I have on my "plate". Aso, is food combining an essential skill, because it is making my life toocomplicated.  And it is important that I build up.  The only supplements I take right now are hoemopathic, and something called Trancor, which is supposed to help balance the aminos or something in my brian, but my eyes need all the help they can get. They do not "relax" and diatlate.  I know raw people are smart, so , I just throw it out there.

peace and joy will be mine, but if I have to battle for myself first, sigh, then so be it.  Warrior I don't want to be, but what will give me the strenth to create the life I want? all comments welcome, I wish I could just sit and read all the posts and learn, but it is so stressful  on my neck and eyes.

pj